I’ve been home from vacation for over a week and have yet to blog about it. My trip was wonderful! Northern New Mexico is a great place to escape to.

I spent the first couple of days in Taos, where I stayed at a hostel and did a lot of hiking. In one day I was on a snowy mountain trail and in a hot, cactus-filled Rio Grande gorge. It was on those hikes that I was finally, completely sure that I am myself again. I am whole, I am healed, and I am fantastic just the way I am.

Most of my week was spent at a farm just a mile off of the Continental Divide. There I was surrounded by a warm hospitable family and several other WWOOFers. Each day fell into a joyful rhythm.

Morning chores were my favorite part of the day. We fed the animals, milked the goats (a first for me!) and then walked the goats out to pasture. There were always more of us on the walk than necessary just because we all found it so fun.

For the rest of the day we’d work on whatever projects needed doing. The most ridiculous task was carrying an outhouse down a hill:

What I appreciated about all of my companions is that they were equally content to have passionate, interesting conversations and to work together in silence. We enjoyed both.

The ranch had some beautiful hiking, too. I got to visit Valley of the Moon, which is partially owned by the family I was visiting and partially by Dennis Hopper. The place is amazing and bizarre. It definitely had a very spiritual vibe about it—it was something I could sense in the wind, as if it was speaking a language too deep for me to comprehend. On occasion I find such places, where nature just resonates with an amazing power and depth.

Every evening after dinner I would take a walk to watch the sun set and the full moon rise. The ranch’s wonderful dogs always accompanied me whether or not I asked them to.

I’ve realized that I give a lot in my life—a lot to work, a lot to my community, a lot to my loved ones. I’m okay with that, but finding balance is hard. It wasn’t until this vacation that I realized how little I’ve taken for myself lately. Having a week in which I didn’t really do anything I didn’t want to was marvelous.

Speaking of enjoying myself… I’m only getting around to this entry because I’m at a conference this week and currently relaxing in my hotel room. Wireless, cable TV, and—best of all—a king-size Sleep Number bed all to myself. A girl could get used to this.

Last Thursday my roommates and I made giant paper-mache poop costumes for the In the Heart of the Beast Mayday parade. That was something I've never done before!

Yesterday an adult resident explained to me that the reason he has such a large collection of Playboy magazines is that he "hasn't been with a woman yet." Oh gosh, way too much information.

And today I am working twelve hours. Tomorrow I am working twelve hours. I really don't understand how people do this all the time. I hope I never have a job that requires me to consistently give up my personal life. The last month at work has been crazy and I just can't imagine living like this for the next 50 years until retirement. Do you just get used to it? Regardless, I'm looking forward to a fresh (sane) start after my vacation.

Speaking of that vacation... four days and counting!

I was taken by surprise yesterday when the Easter church service made me choke up a little. How, after all of this time, did that happen? And what does it mean? Perhaps I just really like to sing. Perhaps it reminded me of the painful achy parts of myself that need healing but not necessarily religion. Perhaps I just felt sad that I am disconnected from a church that was a powerful good force in my life despite its flaws.

Sometimes I think I could be Lutheran. Then again, the Passover seder last week reminded me of all the things I like about Judiasm; maybe I could be Jewish (and not just because Passover is really fun). Some days I think I'd like to be Buddhist, though I haven't really looked into that. But what I like about these faiths is what they teach about social justice and community. I am not really drawn in by the God part, which I think should be a factor in choosing a religion.

I am not sure about much of anything in this realm. But I do know that on occasion lately I've wanted to glance at a Bible, something I left behind at my parents' the last time I moved. Yesterday I fetched it and opened it for the first time since I don't know when. I read Hebrews 11 and Isaiah 58, both longtime favorites of mine. It wasn't awesome; I wasn't moved to tears and nothing shone down from heaven and revelations did not inspire me. But it was nice... just nice. And that was enough.

• paint in my hair
• finding dead bodies
• bedbugs
• power-tool accidents
• falling off of ladders
• having ladders fall on me
• splinters
• being cussed out by residents
• back injuries
• tuberculosis and other communicable diseases